The first thing you look for in an ad is a a physical description. You generally find four types...

  1. No Description
  2. Buzzward Description
  3. Partial or Incomplete Description
  4. A Full Description

Of course what you want is the last type. A full physical description. But you don't always get that. Let's look at each type.

#1) No Description

Hot guy, looking to get rimmed, and kiss like a maniac. like all types.

This is typical of a lot of ads. Especially for hookups. But you will notice that it tells you nothing about the guy's physical appearence. This is usually not a good sign. For instance it says "Hot Guy." Does that mean the guy is "hot" as in attractive? Or does it mean he's "hot and bothered" and ready for sex. Vague terms should be avoided.

#2) Buzzword Description

Attractive man in his 30s, solid build, always horny, need it real time

This type of description is a little better but not much. This guy could be anywhere from 30-39. But I have NEVER once encountered a 30 year old using it. Only someone around 38 or 39. What is attractive? What is a SOLID build? Could be fat but firm? You just don't know. Too many subjective terms. Why is he always horny? Because he has a high sex drive or because he's so ugly he never can get any (insert smiley)

#3) Partial or Incomplete Description

Good Looking, GM, 30s, 6' 195, Big 45inch chest, deep blue eyes, love to kiss and get kinky

It's getting better still, but has a way to go. Why state you're goodlooking. If you're on the internet meeting guys, you should have a photo. Why does it say GM? What race is the person? Some people don't care, but I feel that is a valid question. Let the person reading the ads decide Why is the age so vauge? His height and weight could mean he is anywhere from fat to muscular. Notice the 45 inch chest. That's good, unless you have a 42 inch waist to go with it. If I saw this I'd be wondering why they have a chest size but no waist size to go with. Often times people leave out what is bad. Eyes, everyone says "I like a man's eyes," but that's not what they notice. Also what is get kinky? One man's kink is another man's vanilla.

#4) Complete Description

GWM 39, 6' 185#, Br/Br, Muscular build, 45c, 32w, 16a, clean shaven, hairy chest, into oral, getting rimmed, strict top, 6" cut.

This is probably as close to a complete description as you're going to get. It tells you pretty much what you need to know, except whether or not they guy is bald. And it tells me that since he described his sexual preferences but did not put kissing, that is something I should ask about if it's important to me.

OK I Understand But How Do I Around The Bad Ads

Simply Ask Them

Always give first what you want back

Most people when asked will give the information they get. So if you like a guy but his description is less than you need, hit him up and give him the information you want back. So if I saw an ad that intrigued me I'd hit him up and say "What are your stats?" GWM here, 6' 170lbs, br/br clean shaven, hairy chest, 45c 31w 15a, love oral, getting rimmed, love to kiss, top if it comes to that. By giving this information the person will usually respond back with the same info. Now if they omit things that you gave them, I have found most of the time that these things they omit are not their stong points. So if you need 9 inches and can't take less, you need to ask direct. If you have to ask more tthan once or twice, forget it. I can say I've never had a guy actually lie about his stats, but they stretch the truth till it's almost broke.

Words To Watch For

Football Players Build = Fat
Stocky = Fat
Getting In Shape = Not In Shape
I Am Personal Trainer = So what, the gyms are full of flabby trainers
Thinning On Top = Comb over
Bi Guy = Homosexaul Who Can Pass For Straight
Older Guy = At least 40 usually at least 50
Healthy = HIV+ but non symptomatic
Cute, Good Looking Etc = Put in pics with the ad and stop flattering yourself(insert smiley)

If anyone has anymore email me and I'll add them in with credit if you want, just let me know your first name or handle

And Finally...

Don't Write To Get A Reaction

One thing don't write your ad to get a reaction out of people. One thing that comes up is race. I have had people say "Well race shouldn't matter?" Well it doesn't to me but by omiting what you are, you may be talking to a person for a bit only to find him reject you later soley because of what you are. And then you wind up mad. If you had put it in your ad description that person would've never hit you up in the first place. Same with HIV status. Smoking status or anything similar.

People Put Their Best Foot Out There

People are selling themselves to you. So they will naturally try to put their best foot forward. So use that in mind whenever you read ads and talk to people.

Certain Websites Put Limits

When emailing people back and forth remember certain sites limit people who don't pay to like 5 or 10 email per day. So if you want to talk make sure you give an alernate way to get in touch with them. And some people have broadband so they show up as logged in 24 hours a day.

back gif