Q&A Writing Ads
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What should I say in my ad?
Above all you first want to make sure you to give your physical stats
Hairy Or Smooth: (if not obvious from picture)
Cut or Uncut: (if not obvious from picture)
Might Want to Include, but not needed
Race / Nationality: (if not evident from picture)
Should I put what I like sexually?
If that is the kind of site yes, it cuts down on any misunderstandings.. If you are pretty open to many things, put that as well.
If something is NOT negotiable put that in there. If you HAVE to get fucked, put that in there. If you ONLY top put that in there.
What about my HIV status?
Good question. A kind of "code" has developed. HIV- people tend to tell you they are positve in "subtle" ways. HIV+ will either put positive or "ask me," or just leave it blank. It isn't common for an HIV- person to put "Ask Me" but some do. So it's a good indicator of a person's status but not 100%.
Why would anyone put down "ask me" if they are negative?
The biggest reason I see for this is simply because it brings up the topic. Incredibly enough some people are nervous about asking for a person's status. But if the other person asks you your status, it is very easy to say "I'm HIV- and you?" See how easy it is to lead into that.
Isn't putting down "Ask Me" or just leaving it blank, another form of playing games?
No. In reality discrimination exists. And before you declare you HIV status to the world, remember some people do not like "Poz" guys. They may not rent you an apartment or who knows a year form now the guy you interview with in H/R may remember you. And if he knows you are positive he may not hire you. (Of course that wouldn't be the reason given).
And yes there are just malicious people that would love to spread your status way beyond the one dating sight you signed up for. Does everyone in San Francisco need to know your HIV status if you live in Chiacgo? If you reject someone they may feel it necessary to share that information with eveyone. It does happen. There are mean people out there.
So putting "ask me" is kind of a way of saying "I am positive" without making it 100% definite to anyone who would want to use your HIV status against you.
Ok my stats are in my ad, now what do I write??
As long as you got your physical stats and what you want sexually, you're set. You can try different ads and see what kind of response you get.
I try to use humour in my ads. Unfortunately not a lot of people get it. I try to though. But remember when you write something some people can't tell if you're serious. So if you're trying to be funny use a LOL or :) to indicate it. And don't feel bad if your humour goes unrecognized.
One time I ran an ad that went:
I'm using this because I need to meet people. Too often now a days people don't know their neighbors. Would you believe I have lived in my building for 10 years and I still don't know any of my neighbors.
It's not right, and I was plenty sorry when my neighbor killed his wife and kids and I couldn't identify him NOR the corpses. :)
OK whether or not you find that funny, it clearly is meant to be. I of course put the :) in there.
But no one got this. I got so many emails from people saying, "How can you live in a building like that?" Or "You should move."
I change my sexual moods often, how do I account for that.
It depends on the site. Some let you change the ad at will, some once a day, some once a week or once a month. People tend to like short ads, but if you have a clever way of writing try it.
In a lot of ways it will be trial and error
Ok what shouldn't I include?
Although it's tempting, try NOT to put anything very negative. I have been guilty of this and it's hard not to. But if you use things like "Why are people such idiots," even though it's true and that person reading your ad may agree, he may see you as negative.
Make sure that you never put anything in your outgoing ad that refers to another person. Because people will say, "If he says that about that guy, what'll he say about me."
You never want anyone to say that sentence.
In addition to sexual information, and physical information, you may want to put in information that will effect you. For instance whether you can host or you need to travel. If travel, how far are you willing to go? If you feel you need to meet in a public place then return to one of your homes, put that in. Are you allergic to cats? If so put it in the ad. Many gay men have cats and if you have to travel and he has cats, it ain't going to work.
What kind of information can I "fudge"?
Well I wouldn't recommend lying about anything, but if you're going to do it, make damn well sure you can pull it off. The two most common things people "fudge" are age and waist size.
The one thing that cracks me up the most is age. So many guys LIE about it and can't pull it off. It's one thing to 40 and say you're 39, but to be 40 and claim 32 it ain't happening. I always get into arguments with people who claim they can shave more than 5 years off. Virtually no one can do this.
Waist size is another thing people lie about. Now you look at my pics. I have a 32-inch waist. Ok, and that is saying something when I say, I "just" fit into size 32 dress pants. I am 6' 175 pounds (I range from 165-175 pounds usually). Now I constantly see people MUCH heavier than me claiming to be 32-inch waist.
You can see from my pics my waist, there is no way in hell these other people are size 32. You don't count jeans either. Hell I have seen people squeeze size 38 waist into 32" jeans. But those waist sizes are not accurate when it comes to blue jeans.
Any final words before we all run to rewrite our ads?
Finally I would like to say, when you write your ad be fair. Don't ask for anything you can't give yourself.
If you don't unlock your pics, or have pics, don't expect them and don't ask for them. If you aren't prepared to give your HIV status, you have no right to expect someone to give you theirs. If you don't have a shirtless or naked pic, don't ask for one.
I can't emphasize this enough. Don't ask for what you can't give back.You really need to be fair, and this will not only keep you on the level but help you understand the other guy's position
Nice information, but this is this a bit much?
Yes it may be a bit much. But again I wrote this with the idea of getting people to think. After all you are selling yourself. If you are a hot 25 year old kid, you may have to put nothing more than your pic and say "I'm a top, that needs to head out." And that is all it would take to get a thousand answers.
For people such as myself, I like writing the ads longer, cause I enjoy reading them. Many people are quite hostile to my ads. I have tried it both ways, and although I don't get a lot of responses, I find keeping it simple gets me almost none.
So use what you have, THINK about what you NEED to say, how your ad is coming across to others.