Q&A Pics In Ads
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What's the deal with people without face shots?
There is a good reason if people are not showing their face in photos. ...They are UGLY!!!
Now that said, good looking and ugly are relative experiences. But I can honestly say I have only had ONE person, who didn't have photos and later sent them to me, that was hot. Some others have been OK, but not someone I would choose.
But there are a variety of reasons people give for not having a face shot. And even more reasons why they don't have any pics at all. Most of these reasons are poor. This is 2006 it's time you got one.
Seriously why don't people have pics?
The biggest reason I have found why people don't post pics is because they are cheating on someone. Of course there are closeted people and people who feel advertising for love on the Internet is something to be embarrassed about. There are people to damn lazy to get a pic and those who aren't sure how to go about it.
Supposing I don't know how to go about putting my pic on the Internet
Then you're reading the right place. All you need is a digital pic and a computer to upload it.
OK great two things I don't have, so now what?
Well first of all go to Walgreens, Target, CVS, Wal-Mart or Osco. Get a throwaway 35mm camera; it'll cost you about $5.00. Then take pics and have the store develop them. Have them put the pics on a CD disc. Viola -- you have your digital pics to upload. Or if you want many places like Osco or Wal-Mart or Jewel, will put them online.
Then you need to upload them to the site. You can go to an Internet cafe to do this. I think the charges range from $3-$8/hr depending on what services they provide. I recommend Screenz. (Click the link to see locations)
Can I use the public library?
Not the Chicago Public Library. I am not sure about the suburban libraries. If any of you have information on that let me know. In the Chicago Public Library you can only read off the Internet or print things you read. You cannot upload or download.
What about, you know, naked pics?
You can't get those developed at Walgreens or the like, so for that you need to find a friend with a digital camera
OK I realize I should have pics in the ad, but I am shy
The thing you want to do in a pic is get a decent shot of you. All you want to do is give people a good idea of what you look like. I realize not everyone is going to have an "X" pic or strip to the waist. But you should have a clear pic of your face. That means, no hat, no sunglasses, no do rag, no shadow effect, no special effects at all.
You should also have a pic of your body. You don't have to be naked or shirtless or even in a tank top. But you should wear clothes that are going to fit.
I had one guy send me a picture of himself in a gor-tex parka. I had one guy send me a picture of him in a hockey goalie uniform. Ah all you can see is the uniform. They may have well of hung it on a mannequin.
The thing that's the most important is you don't want to look like you are trying to hide something. You may think it's slick but all it does is come off as trying to be sneaky. And that never works.
I have a pic of me at Disneyland should I use that?
Sure that is fine. As long it gives you a clear representation of what you look like. I go on line to meet someone. If I want to see what they look like sans a shirt or naked I can wait till we meet up. Now some people do only go online to look at naked people and that is fine. But there are all different kinds of people.
I kind of like those pics
Is it all right if someone else is in the pic with me?
Definitely NO! Most sights don't allow it and I agree with this policy. The first thing that comes to mind is I say to myself "Gee if I was that guy's friend and we took a pic together, would he put that pic online? Either crop them out or scramble the faces up.
Also people aren't always clear when they send group pictures about saying which one in the pic they are. I've had people say, "I'm in the blue shirt." I look at the pic and one guy is in a light blue shirt and one guy in a dark blue shirt. Ok that was a lot of help
I've had people say, "I'm the one on the right?" Ok are you on the right as I'm looking at the pic or are you on the right as if you were in the pic?"
Any other kinds of pics I shouldn't use?
Well there are a few technical problems with certain types of pics, but I put that in the next section of questions. But one thing you should never and I repeat never do is take a pic of you showing where you work, or if you're in your uniform.
Many employers now prohibit this and it's grounds for your dismissal. In fact a court case came up in the appellate court of the United States recently where a man lost his job and the court agreed saying employers can limit employees right to advertise while in uniform, even if they are selling themselves. He put a picture of himself in his flight attendant uniform.
So save a lot of bother and don't do that. Also you don't want to give strangers an idea of where you work. So if you have a shirt that says "Acme Corporation" don't wear that. It's no one's business where you work.
OK I got the pic, what now?
OK decide how much of yourself you want to show. Are you comfortable putting your face online? If not don't do it. Most sites have ways of locking your pics to everyone except those you want to see it. I obviously have no problem showing my face.
If you do take the pic, make a digital copy, cut your head off and lock the complete part up only showing the body part. See my next section for technical problems with uploading pics.
Do people really get recognized?
Yes they do and I have. The first time shocked me as I was on the Fullerton bus coming home from the gym at 11:30pm at night. These two kids couldn't have been more than 20 years old. And they came over and started talking to me. Of course not being with it, I couldn't understand a damn word they said.
Another time I was in Virgin Records downtown, with my staff, we came back from a Christmas Lunch and one guy about 20 feet away from me looks at his friend and says "Hey Dave, look over there it's the guy from the Internet." And the two ladies that worked for me were like "What's that all about? Are you famous?
So it does happen. But I am pretty well spread out all over the Internet too.
What if I want to put some naked pics of me online?
Go ahead and do it, if you're comfortable with it. But I recommend that you cut your head off the naked pic. Of course you'll have another pic showing your head. But you want to be careful about naked pics or pics showing "action" shots.
What Happens To My Photos On The Net?
Unfortunately anything. There are a few ways to prevent someone from lifting your pic, but they aren't terribly effective. I can honestly say it's never taken me more than 5 minutes to get a pic of the net.
So even if you right click on a pic and it won't let you save it, there are dozens of ways to get around that.
So you're saying someone is free to steal my pics?
No they are not free to steal it. What I'm saying is there is little you can do about it. Under US Law every picture is copyrighted the second you take it. If you find someone using your pic, you could sue them, but as you can see, the cost and time of doing such is prohibitive.
If you find someone has stolen your pic, contact the site where it's posted immediately. Almost all website owners are so leery of getting sued they will take down the stolen pic ASAP, even if the accuser is lying.
And yes I've put my own pic up and someone said it was him and the site owner took it down till I proved to him it was me and the other guy was lying.
So in reality a profile on a site like Manhunt could be fake?
Yes, with a fake pic as well. You will never know unless you meet that person. One way you can get around this is with a web cam or if you talk to the person via phone you can tell them to write a word on a piece of paper, hold it up to their face and take a picture of that word.
You expect someone to do that?
Well not locally, but if you were planning a trip to Seattle to meet someone I would ask for more definite proof.
What other kinds of things should I be on the look out for?
I am not trying to turn this into a witch hunt, especially if the guy is local. If he turns out to be lying all you lost is a few hours of your time.
Incredibly enough I first started going online in 1998 and I STILL see the same pics by people as when I first got online in 1998. So just because someone says the pic is them; it may be true, but it may also be true it was taken 10 years ago. Seems they forget to tell you that
Look for things like a description that doesn't match the photo.
Look for dates on the photos. I had one guy send me a photo where the dates were 1997, 1999 and 2001. I asked him about it. He said they were all recent and didn't know how to change the date on his digital camera.
He could have been telling the truth. But I didn't believe him. For one thing his hairline Cleary was less in 2001 than in 1997. So I thought to myself, if he thinks I'm so stupid to believe that, what else is he lying to me about. His HIV status? Other STDs? Is he a thief? Who knows, ultimately I passed on him.
Also don't believe dates, I had one moron pass off a 2005 pic of him on Ellis Island in New York Harbor. You all know where I'm going with this don't you? The World Trade Center is in the background.
How STUPID is this man? Or rather how stupid does he think I am? He simply texted in a new date on the picture.
I say look for things like, if a guy has 5 pics and is wearing a baseball hat in all of them. It probably means he's bald. Not all bald men wear hats, I love hats and I'm not bald. But I always make sure I have at least one pic without a hat so people can see.
The most important thing is to look at your pictures like other people would see them. Not like you see them.
How do you ask people about their pics?
I admit it's hard to be direct with people at times. You feel like a fool saying are your pics recent? You feel like you are accusing them of being a liar with no proof. But if the description doesn't fit call them on it. Maybe there is a reason for it. You wouldn't want to say "I noticed in your description it says you are 6' 175 pounds with a 32 inch waist. However in your picture you look like you are about to give birth. I mean there are ways of asking.
What I do is say something like, I was up all night last night trying to get my new camera to upload the pics, and I wanted to make sure my pics were recent. I hate when in the past people have sent me old pics. OK you see that give the other party an opportunity to take the hint and volunteer the information.
Why are some pics so dark?
Good question, I think it's because they shot was poor and the person didn't know how to fix it or simply they are trying to pull a fast one on you. Let's face it even if they aren't trying to be slick, it comes across as you being such.
Besides I can take any picture imager and lighten the pic and clearly see their face.
That brings up another point, use simple pic in ads. Don't put all these special fancy effects like drop shadows and such in them.
I met a guy who looked nothing like his photos, What's up with that?
This is common for some reason, a certain number of people take good photos. I have had it happen to me I went to meet someone somewhere and I didn't recognize him. Now I am not saying they need to be exactly like their pics, but I think I should be able to recognize them from their pics, or something is up.
Sometimes realize people can hide things in their pics. This is why I stress the importance of providing a good clear picture. For instance you can have muscular pecs and great arms and have a gut. You can be pretty thick around the waist. It's possible to wear an oversized t-shirt and it will show off your pecs and arms and hide the gut. Actually for me, I have found some people can pull that off.
That is one thing I stress about me. I am lean and muscular. But I am not huge. For some reason people think I am a lot bigger than I am. The thing is unless you see me in a tank top and shorts; I don't look like anything but a skinny guy.
Like at work when we had a beach outing and virtually everyone said "My God I didn't know how built you are."
So remember not everyone is going to look like their photos, for the good or bad.
What's up with the body parts?
I love it when people give you like 10 shots and each is a different part of their body. Like I'm supposed to print it out and assemble them to get an idea of what the guy looks like?
In my experience people who only have headshots tend to be overweight or pudgy. Again I don't mean to offend anyone but this has been my experience.
I find it hard to believe that people say "Wow what a hot dick, I want to hook up with that, without any regard to what it might be attached to." But I am told it does happen
How often should I update my photo?
At least every six months or after a major change, for instance when I got a buzz cut I updated my photos and when I shaved my chest I updated them as well. But because I use my photos to judge my workout routines I take them more often. But with a digital camera it's incredibly easy to update pics. Certainly you don't look the same as you did a year ago. And I stick to this; believe it or not I've had people argue the point with me. I don't agree on this. Update your photos every six months or after a change in style such as dying your hair or weight loss or weight gain etc.
Any thing else?
Finally I'd like to ad use pics as a guideline. I understand getting burned but if you're meeting someone locally, photos are just a guideline. I had one guy ask for a head shot, body shot, ass shot, cock shot, I'm surprised he didn't demand an x-ray.
For me personally I say you get my face and waist up. You can see what you'd see on the beach. Anything else you meet me in person. Maybe if I had a long distance thing I'd take some more "racy" shots. But that is my stand for now and I'm sticking to it.